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Our friends from Pfizer hosted a cozy media gathering with Dr. Rosie King,  sex therapist from Australia and author of the book,

Dr. King shared with us the survey results of an Ideal Sex Survey conducted by Harrison Interactive and Pfizer lastDecember 2010. The survey asked 3,282 male and female respondents in 10 Asia Pacific countrieswhat really constitutes good, toe-curling, back arching sex.

We had a rollickin’ good time as Dr. King answered questions not just about sex in general, not stopping to answer even questions about her own sex life. “I talk about everyone else’s sex life, I have no problem talking about my own.” Describing herself as a deeply sexual being, who despite “being a grandmother has been married to a wonderful man for decades who still thinks I’m a babe”.

It wasn’t just Dr. King’s candor that had the journalists in the room laughing. She revealed a lot of surprising things about sex

1.    What is the secret to good sex?

The formula wasn’t acrobatic moves and creative positions.  It’s actually a bit simpler than that. Unanimously, the respondents in the Ideal Sex Survey Asia all said erection hardness and erection longevity (being able to maintain and sustain a erection all the way to the end of sex).  Frequency of sex and intensity of orgasms were all second fiddle to erection hardness.

And don’t knock it as just sex, there are a number of indications and domino effects related to a good role in the hay.  Read on to number 2.

Photo from Health for Better Life

2.  If keeping it hard is the secret to good sex, then how hard is hard?

Make no mistake about it.  In the same way that not all are created equal, not all erections are made equally hard. There are different erection grades, which are tracked in what is called Erection Hardness Scale (EHS). There are four grades and men should always strive for a Grade 4 erection

Grade 4: No erectile dysfunction.  Penis is completely hard and fully rigid.

Grade 3: Mild erectile dysfunction. This is already considered a sub-optimal erection. Penis is hard enough for penetration but not completely hard

Grade 2: Moderate erectile dysfunction. Penis is hard but not hard enough for penetration.

Grade 1: Severe erectile dysfunction. Sexual intercourse is not possible.

As for the domino effects we were talking about, men with no erectile dysfunction—the fourth graders, so to speak–have more sex than their grade 3 counterparts. Women whose partners have no erectile dysfunction and thus, had more sex reported feeling more sexy, had more self-esteem and were generally more into their partners.

Also, women report feel safer and more worry-free in bed when their partners wear a condom or if they are on the pill.  Makes sense, doesn’t it? If she’s not worrying about getting pregnant or catching some sexually transmitted infection, she’s more focused on her pleasure and yours. 

Photos from University of East Anglia, Holistic Medicine Works, Fake Food and Andrea’s Easy Vegan Cooking

3.    It’s not just the quality of the erection, but the quality of the relationship

Yep, nothing beats good old-fashioned feelings when it comes to getting’ the shake in your jiggy—and that goes forboth men and women. In the Ideal Sex Survey, both men and women reported that sex is better with a partner they were in a committed relationship with. Committed relationships bring with it security, more confidence and deeper intimacy. How’s that for a vote for monogamy?

Photo from PeaceFruit

4.    Size really doesn’t matter

This is one of the most fascinating things I learned from Dr. King. “It is only the outer third of a woman’s vagina that has sensation.” And for the cynics in the audience, Dr. King suggested this experiment, “When you get home, the women in this room should try sticking a finger deep inside her vagina and run their nail along side it. You won’t feel a thing. It’s the same reason why she can have a tampon in there.”

Dr. King concluded, “So in reality, a woman only needs a penis about this small”–demonstrating with her thumb and her forefinger a distance that couldn’t be more than 3-4 inches wide–“to pleasure her. It just has to be a hard penis.”

Moving on a more sentimental note, Dr. King said, “Besides, for women, what’s more important is the size of a man’s heart, rather than the size of his penis.”

Photo from Visual Photos

5.    There are different kinds of sex and a lot of it doesn’t happen in the  bedroom

Connection, intimacy and orgasmic heights can be reached and achieved not just through sex. Dr. King, drawing on her more than three decades of clinical experience and her personal experience to make her point. “My husband and I like sex even until now and make it a point to have it regularly. But that’s me. There are some couples who find the same intimacy, pleasure and connection by doing other things—even from just watching TV or washing the dishes together.”

Dr. King ended her session by saying that the results of the Ideal Sex Survey were pretty much universal not just among men and women, but also among the various races and nationalities who took the survey. “It’s not so much our cultures and our nationalities that make us different when it comes to sex. When it comes to this deeply personal and intimate act it is more our humanity that makes us the same.”

Photo from Marriage Thermometer, Cover photo from Johnny Conrad

Find out more about the results of Ideal Sex Survey and what really makes sex “good” in the December / January issue of Playboy Philippines.

        

During my years of writing a sex and relationship column for a men’s magazine, the question I always always got from men, was: “Does size really matter?”. Of course, I got a bunch of other variations – some colorful and some mathematical (think in terms of ratio and proportion) — of that inquiry. That question would usually come on the heels of : “Where can I find the G-spot?”

Apparently, psychologists like Dr. Robert Saltzman get the same kind of questions. One letter the doctor received was from a soon-to-groom who was riddled with anxiety about his 4.5 inch erect penis being able to satisfy his wife. But the good doctor’s answer to the question was not only sensible, as expected, but rather sexy as well. Check out his answer to the question of whether or not 4.5 inches would hit the spot.

Dear Shoaib–

Your penis is within the normal range. It is a bit on the smaller side of normal, but is certainly large enough for good sexual intercourse.

Further, not all women like large penises. In fact, many woman prefer not having to deal with a large penis which might go too deep and end up causing pain. You may find that your new wife will love your penis and think it is perfect–particularly if you follow the advice I will give you later in this reply.

It might help you to know that the average vagina is only about as long as your penis, so you have plenty of length to get the job done. In addition, the vagina is not an empty space waiting to be filled–the vaginal walls press against one another until something is inserted, and then they expand enough to receive it, but not more than that. In other words, the vagina will tend to grip whatever is inserted into it, and adjust its size to match.

For men with smaller penises the rear entry position is probably ideal since it will allow deeper penetration if desired. This position also allows the woman to stimulate her own clitoris during intercourse which often helps her to achieve orgasm.

But the purely mechanical side of sex is by far the less important side. Many men do not understand this (I often hear about their ignorance of what turns a woman on from their wives and girlfriends who come to me for counseling), but sexual intercourse does not begin in the bed, it begins when people feel something special towards one another and begin to send little signals. In other words, the part in the bed is the finale, not the whole show. If you want your wife to be satisfied with your lovemaking, here is my advice:

1. Be gentle and kind with her in all things. Do not try to dominate her, as unfortunately so many foolish men do. Be her friend as well as her sex partner.

2. Touch her often and with real affection, not just when you want sex.

3. Speak softly to her, and tell her how attractive she is to you.

4. When you are in bed, caress her entire body–not just the sex parts.

5. When you do get around to “doing it,” touch her vagina gently, and be sure that she is well lubricated and eager before you try to enter.

6. Learn to time your pleasure according to her rhythms so that she can have an orgasm before or when you do. In other words, try not to come too quickly, leaving her high and dry.

7. Tell her you love her, both before and after you have sex.

If you do those things, the size of your penis will not matter much, if at all.  I wish you every happiness in your marriage, and good sex too.

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The good doctor knows that a woman’s biggest sex organ isn’t between her legs, but between her ears. And once you’ve won her over on that front, you know that you would have found her G-Spot and hit it right on the…ahem, head!

If there were a mention in his post about the sexy benefits of using condoms, I would dare think that the good doctor was a woman.  But alas, there’s still a thing or two we SASsy women can teach men.  : )

        

Congratulations to Melandria for giving the SASsiest, sexiest reason why LICK condoms give the best protection from the heat of summer! You win a FREE firey pink LICK hoodie and LICK condoms which will be delivered to your doorstep.

Melandria’s answer:

One of the hot, hot, hot reasons why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer because I can blow my partner’s mind and give him pleasures without even thinking of unexpected problem on our way. Summer heat is really tempting and you must be ready anytime, anywhere.

Congratulations to our 9 other winners who will all get FREE LICK condoms delivered right to their mailing address.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the LICK condom contest! We’re overwhelmed by the response.  The flood of entries caused some delay in accessing certain posts! (sorry!)

To the winners, please expect an email requesting for your COMPLETE mailing address where your prizes will be delivered.  Allow 10-15 working days for delivery.

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Silly

One hot, hot, hot reason why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer is…it’s like giving me a mouth-watering dessert that makes me crazy over it, I can get much as I want without worrying about anything.

Al

One of the hot, hot, hot reasons why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer is it’s like a hoodie that covers and protects my woody!

Ruru

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Danib

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Wheeler

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Victoraine

One of the hot, hot, hot reasons why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer is that i can sleep right after the “DEED” without worrying that i may be pregnant. RELAX with LICK CONDOMS!

 Ohmieness

One of the hot, hot, hot reasons why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer is because the right selection will protect your erection. So if you go into heat, package your meat – with LICK condoms.

Steffi

It’s best to stay safe and protected while enjoying summer. So when the heat is on, take everything off, but leave your LICK condoms on!

Kimmybiatch

One of the hot, hot, hot reasons why LICK condoms can give me the best protection from the heat of summer is I can have a hot and heavy night without having to worry the morning after.

        

This article was originally posted on the Female Network website,  March  2010

How safe is the sex you’re having? FN doles out the facts to help you stay protected. By Ana Santos

Of course you’re familiar with the term “safe sex”—who isn’t?  But do you know the term “safer sex?”

Safer sex means sexual contact that does not involve any exchange of blood, semen, or vaginal fluids.

Technically, and in absolute terms, sex cannot be guaranteed as 100 percent safe. That’s why the term “safer sex” is considered to be more appropriate by many sexual health advocacy groups.

However, encouraging safer sex is harder said than done, not the least because of people’s insufficient or incorrect knowledge about how to practice it—and many people are ignorant of their ignorance. Check out these statements concerning safer sex that many people believe in, but which may not actually be true. Find out what’s right and what’s not by reading on.

Fact or fiction? It’s okay to go bareback (no condom) as long as my guy puts on a condom right before ejaculation.

FICTION. Don’t be tempted to go for a skin-to-skin feel. Even pre-ejaculate, the clear, colorless fluid that comes out of a mans’ penis when he is aroused, can cause infection. Plus studies show that there is also a small chance that you can become pregnant with pre-ejaculate, so why take the risk?

Fact or fiction? After hitting the home run, I shouldn’t let my guy linger inside me for a while, even if he’s wearing a condom.

FACT. After ejaculation, while holding the rim of the condom to prevent any leakage, the penis should be pulled out while still hard. Letting him grow “soft” inside means he won’t fit snugly into the condom anymore and semen may seep out.

Fact or fiction? Kissing, cuddling, masturbation, phone sex, and watching erotic films together are all forms of safer sex.

FACT. Yes; as all of the above activities do not involve an exchange of bodily fluids, these are to be considered safer sex options.

Fact or fiction? Condoms should also be used for oral sex.

FACT. As a general rule of thumb, a condom should be used for any kind of sex—vaginal, anal, and yes, even for oral sex—as a cut or a rash in your mouth can expose you to certain infections. Before switching from oral sex to vaginal sex, you should also use a new condom.

If you find the thought of having to “taste” a condom yucky, try flavored condoms like LICK wild tutti frutti and juicy strawberry made with real fruit flavors. Flavored condoms (note that flavored is different from scented) make oral sex pleasurable, safe, and, well, tasty.

Fact or fiction? It’s only normal that penetration is sometimes painful and uncomfortable and has no impact on safe sex.

FICTION. While you can experiment with different positions that make penetration more pleasurable, you should also check for vaginal dryness. Vaginal dryness is a common condition that may be brought about by the fluctuating hormones of menopause, smoking, childbirth (post partum), or breastfeeding, as well as certain medications. These bring down your estrogen levels, making your vagina extra-dry and irritated.

Penetration when you’re not lubricated adds friction which may cause tears in the condom.  Lubricants can make sex both more pleasurable and safe by reducing the risk of condom breakage. Just be sure you are using the right kind of lubricant.

Fact or fiction? Vaseline Petroleum Jelly or lotion can be also be used as a lubricant.

FICTION. Oil-based or petroleum-based products like Vaseline will compromise the integrity of the condom. Make sure to only use water-based lubricants like KY Jelly or silicone-based lubricants specifically intended for male condom use.

Remember: when used properly, lubricants can greatly help reduce the risk of condom breakage.

Fact or fiction? Condoms just decrease pleasure, so I should go on the pill, which will also protect me against STIs/HIV.

FICTION. The pill is effective in preventing untimely or unplanned pregnancy, but it cannot protect you from a sexually transmitted infection. The condom, as certified by the World Health Organization, is the only device that can act as an effective barrier against both sexually transmitted infections and unplanned pregnancy.

Fact or fiction? Condoms are known to break; therefore, they’re not at all reliable.

FICTION. The World Health Organization (WHO) certifies that condoms are effective barriers against herpes simplex, hepatitis B, Chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and can reduce the risk of HIV infection to nearly zero. While some condoms have been known to break, it is more often out of human error rather than manufacturer defect. Don’t use sharp objects like scissors, teeth, or long nails to open a condom wrapper, and always check the expiration date on the pack before using it.

Fact or fiction? I should keep a pack of condoms in my glove compartment just in case.

FICTION. A true girl scout knows that condoms need to be stored in a cool, dry, and dark place, away from humidity, heat, air, and sunlight. The best place to store condoms is your medicine cabinet or your bedside table. Cool, quirky condom storage boxes and compacts are also available online at www.condomania.com

Fact or fiction? Using sex toys poses zero STI/HIV risk infection.

FICTION. The risk may be considered to be low, but the fact is that anything that comes in contact with bodily fluids and goes into a person’s rectum and/or vagina could transmit HIV or other STDs, and this includes sex toys. Never share sex toys, and if you do share a sex toy with your partner, use a new condom on it. Clean sex toys properly after each use—make sure you pay attention to indicated cleaning and care instructions.

        

The No. 1 STI in the Philippines: Gonorrhea  

Gonorrhea – what is it?  

Gonorrhea under a microscope

Gonorrhea is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI) in the Philippines.  It is caused by a  bacterium that thrives in warm, moist areas of the body such as the reproductive tract in women (including the cervix, uterus and fallopian tubes).  Gonorrhea can also grow in the urethra, anus, mouth, throat and eyes in both men and women.  

  How can you get gonorrhea?  

Any sexually active person can be infected with gonorrhea, which is spread through contact with an infected person’s vagina, penis, mouth or anus.  Gonorrhea can be transmitted and acquired without ejaculation!  Gonorrhea can also be passed from an infected mother to her child during childbirth.  

What are symptoms of gonorrhea?  

Symptoms in women are often so mild that they can be mistaken for a simple bladder or vaginal infection; this can include an increase in vaginal discharge and bleeding in between menstruation.  However, most women who are infected with gonorrhea show no symptoms whatsoever.  

Men often have no symptoms; but if symptoms do occur, they can take as long as 30 days to appear.  This can include yellow or green discharge from the penis, a burning sensation while urinating or painful / swollen testicles.  

In women, gonorrhea infection can lead to Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.  PID can cause chronic pelvic pain, internal abscesses and damage of the fallopian tubes that can result in infertility or an increased risk of ectopic pregnancy.  

In men, gonorrhea can cause epididymitis, a painful condition that may lead to infertility if it is left untreated.
Gonorrhea can also spread to the blood and the joints, a condition that can be life-threatening.  People with gonorrhea can also more susceptible to contracting HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.  

How is gonorrhea diagnosed?   

Gonorrhea can be diagnosed through several lab tests – a health care provider can take a sample from the cervix, urethra, rectum or throat and send it to a laboratory for analysis.  

Gonorrhea infection in the cervix or urethra can also be detected by testing a urine sample.
A Gram stain test of samples from the urethra or cervix, which is more effective for men than for women, allows a health care provider to see the bacterium under a microscope.  

How is gonorrhea treated?  

Antibiotics are available to cure gonorrhea but, though the medication will stop the infection, it does not repair any permanent damage done by the infection.  People who have had gonorrhea and have been treated can be re-infected if they have sexual contact with a person who has gonorrhea. 
Unfortunately, drug-resistant strains of gonorrhea are becoming increasingly common in many areas of the world, which makes successful treatment much more difficult.  

How can gonorrhea be prevented?
? Abstinence
? Participating in a long-term, mutually-monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner
? Correct and consistent use of latex or synthetic condoms

   

Stay tuned for the Facts About Chlamydia:  Part 2 of this SASsy 5-part series on Sexually Transmitted Infections in the Philippines…