Cathy Domingo: Young, single and happy

Cathy Domingo

Recently passed the Nursing Board Exams

The young and vivacious Cathy is so excited about having passed the nursing board exams — which may be the reason why she’s not worrying too much about being single.

“My last relationship was last year. I’ve actually found myself very happy being single. No arguing or fighting — freedom! You can do whatever you’d like, and you can meet SO many new people.”

“I won’t be single forever, so I enjoy this time. Of course we all would like the comfort of having a companion, but one must be able to get used to being with yourself before allowing another to enter.”, says the 20 year old.

Knowing how other girls her age feel about being in a relationship, Cathy says “If other girls were to ask me what the secret to being happy, I  would tell them to embrace the single life. When you find The One, it will be something great — it won’t just be something to conveniently hide behind. Then again, maybe you won’t find Mr. Right. And that is okay too. Know that being single is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, it is pretty spectacular.”

On the topic of safer sex, Cathy references her degree and states, “Of course as a registered nurse, I advocate that all people should know that it’s necessary to practice safer sex. Nobody has a body to die for – literally and figuratively. Safer sex is always better — it’s fun, and you don’t have to worry as much.”a condom), make it your responsibility too.”

        

Gale Garcia shares her practical and realistic views on relationships

Gale Garcia

Call Center Manager

Growing up in the UK and then coming to the Philippines, Gale couldn’t help but notice one difference: the preoccupation bordering on obsession with being in a relationship and getting married. “It’s like that’s the only thing to live for or that it’s the major goal in life”, says the 27 year old call center manager.

Gale’s views may seem too westernized, but Gale insists that this is she is just ‘keepin’ it real’.

Reflecting on past relationships,  Gale says, “In the UK, I think it’s more relaxed. Like, you get invited out for a date and if you guys like each other then that’s it. I kind of like the simplicity of that. Here, courtship is a big thing.  I’ve been in and out of relationships; dated guys from other countries, young and older than me.”

Now single for the last couple of months, Gale says that it always takes some time to get used to  being your own better half. “there are definitely things you can do to cultivate a more positive attitude. For a start you can accept that: Happiness is a choice.”

One thing that remains similar in both the Philippines and the UK is that more women are havein gmore sex now and Gale says there is no more need to remain chaste.

“So casual sex has become as common as having coffee with a buddy in the big city. Think about it; let’s say (for argument’s sake) a woman saves herself until she’s about 25 years of age. Then she sleeps with a man. They break up after a few months. Then she meets another man and after a couple of months, she sleeps with him. Then they break up. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“If this woman dates 3 men a year, she’ll have slept with 15 men by the time she’s 30. So even if a woman isn’t having casual sex, but is dating a man seriously and things simply “don’t work out,” she’s left single and with another notch on her bedpost simply through the fate she mapped out for herself.”

This to Gale is the reality and in the context that safer sex should be talked about.

“Safer sex is feeling safe enough to stay or safe enough to leave at any moment. Safer sex is caring about yourself so much that no one can make you do anything that you are not 100% comfortable doing. And safer sex is about knowing yourself so well that you can represent your needs at all times in all situations so that you don’t put yourself in a situation of risk.”

“There is always a need for it and it should be non-negotiable. It’s not even a guy’s responsibility anymore (for example to carry a condom), make it your responsibility too.”

• Everyday until February 15, Sex and Sensibilities will feature one of the 5 women in the Single Ladies! (Yes, with exclamation point) Campaign.
• Single Ladies! (Yes, with exclamation point) is a trademark production of SexAndSensibilites.com in celebration of self-empowerment by loving yourself first.
• This campaign has also been featured on herword.com, the on-line magazine of Business World  

• Photography by Rogelio “Allan” Mendoza Jr. and Myke Motus. Makeup styling by Ana Santos. Gowns worn by Miki, Pam, and Alex all designed by Maricar Dizon. Gown worn by Cathy designed by Lyn Dizon. Hairstyling by Edwin Cabol Jore. Fashion styling by Kathleen Conde.

        

Alex: The Un-Bride

Alexandrea C. Rodriguez
Brand Manager, Team Manila  

 
 Unlike most girls, Alex Rodriguez didn’t grow up fantasizing about wearing a wedding gown someday.  Alex shares how wearing the white dress — albeit for a shoot — felt.  

With her a furrowed brow and a crinkled forehead, Alex declared: “This feels weird.”, when she saw herself in a wedding gown.
 
“Looking back, I was never the girl who dreamed about my wedding, the perfect wedding dress, nor the perfect person to marry. Forgive the shallowness, it’s just that I never really got a grasp of brides and marriage.”, Alex says, laughing at herself.  

 The 22 year old says she agreed to the shoot only when she was told about its concept of being happy without having to be married, or in a relationship with someone. “It’s a very unique concept, considering you’re in a wedding dress when you’re in fact, single. I like that it’s about being happy and contented with yourself.”
 
Alex, who has a mix of friends who are both single and married reflects on the perceived pressure from society for women to be committed. “I think the pressure comes from within a woman and not from outside factors. It takes years to build confidence, and to be contented with oneself. So I say, know and appreciate who you are. Don’t focus on what’s missing in your life; instead, focus on what you have and be confident with it.”
 
Acknowledging that the fact that she started dating early,  Alex says this is her time to take a break, and have fun on her own. “Not that I don’t have fun when I’m with someone, it’s just that of course, it’s different when you’re single and carefree.”

        

Pam: One of the boys

Of all the dresses that a woman will own in her lifetime, perhaps no other dress will capture her fascination, longing and aspiration as that of a wedding gown. 

The relationship a girl has with the white dress starts even as a little girl when she dons pillow sheets and pretends it is a veil as she practices walking down the aisle.But as the women in the Single Ladies! (yes, exclamation point!) will tell you, the relationship you have with yourself, rather than the fabled white dress, is the key to happiness. 

Pam Perlas: Sales Associate for high-end luxury cars 

“That comes with a 2 liter engine and is the top of the line model for that class”, Pam Perlas said, talking into her mobile phone. 

Those aren’t words that you hear coming from a woman everyday, but as a sales associate for high end cars, that conversation just about summarizes what a typical day is like for Pam. 

All throughout the shoot, Pam was taking calls on her cellphone and checking her notes that she had on the various models. “We just put out an ad”, she said, explaining the interruptions. 

While waiting for her turn to be photographed, Pam was on her headphones listening to hip-hop, and occasionally singing out loud and dancing to the beat. Pam is not a girl to be caught waiting around doing nothing — even when it comes to being single. 

“I have a ton of guy friends, but I’ve been single almost my entire life. The first and last relationship I had was 3 years ago. I was 19 when I had my first boyfriend and it all happened over one summer.”, says the 21 year old is unfazed by this fact. 

Keeping herself entertained in between takes. (Headphones model's own)

“I just graduated from college, and honestly, I’m just too damn excited to find out what’s in store for me in the real world. I’ve got my own flat and drive my own car.”, says Pam who says that she was raised not to be dependent on a man. 

“My parents separated when I was really young and my mom raised me and my siblings all by herself.”, she shares, with obvious admiration in her voice. 

But Pam admits that she is not spared from the usual questioning. ”I do get asked a lot why I don’t have a boyfriend. I feel like the more they ask me why I don’t have one [a boyfriend], the more it makes me want to prove to them that I am happy being single.” 

Ever the practical, logical sensible girl, Pam intimates, “I do go out on dates, but if I’m not sexually attracted to the guy, I don’t see myself dating him. Unfortunately, I don’t find attraction that much, hence, the single life! It comes in handy when I meet guys that I know are only after sex, I don’t allow it to happen.” 

“There is always room for a wider awareness about safe sex and sexual health. It only takes one infected person to do the job. Next thing you know, you fear for your own health. If you want to have sex, at least be responsible and use protection – it’s always better to be careful now than be sorry later.”, concludes Pam. 

        

If there’s a day to celebrate being in a relationship, then there should also be a day devoted to celebrating being single, the inventors of this occasion, pragmatically thought.  Thus, the birth of Singles Awareness Day on February 15; a day which is usually celebrated with the greeting, “Happy SAD!”

Five young single ladies got together to celebrate their own version of Happy SAD by fearlessly donning a wedding gown jazzed up to the match their own personalities. With honesty and candor, the ladies  also shared their views on being single and the need for women to have knowledge on sexual reproductive health.

The first of these these ladies, Miki Kierulf, will tell you why being single can be pretty fabulous, any day of the year.

Miki Kierfulf, 32

Hairstylist/Make-up Artist

I’ve been a single mom for so long, and I must say that, being a single mom not being married does not make me less of a person. I’m still the same me.  I need not be in a relationship to be happy. I’m happy being with my son, not worrying about what I can and can’t do. So I’m fine with it [being single]. If someone comes along, then we will see.

To be honest with you, I still have dreams of getting married one day… of being a princess… to walk down the aisle wearing a very beautiful gown. And well sometimes, yes, I have the tendency to look at the mirror and tell myself, “Ewww, you’re getting older and you’re still not married?”.  [laughs]

But, it never changed my point of view. Getting married is indeed a lot of sacrifices, commitments, so many changes. I always ask myself if I’m ready for all those. Well, for now, I don’t think I am…not yet.

Being a single mom made me a better and stronger person. It made me realize that I can do things even if I’m on my own. I’m already a grown woman, so it helped me become more responsible in life. It made me see how lucky i am to have an adorable son… if that ‘someone’ does not come along, I’m ok with it. If I’ll get married, I’ll make sure that he is the one. I don’t wanna get married just because.

And anyway, I can get married even when I reach 60 or so. Age is just a number, but as I matured and got older, I realized that sex is something you share with someone you really love. What is the point of sleeping with someone who doesn’t mean everything to you? 

As for information on safe sex, even if we think we know a lot already, there’s no harm in learning more. We should always be aware of how we can best protect ourselves. 

• Starting today and everyday until February 15, SexAndSensibilities will feature one of the 5 women in the Single Ladies! (Yes, with exclamation point) Campaign.
• Single Ladies! (Yes, with exclamation point) is an exclusive production of SexAndSensibilites.com and has also been featured on:

 http://www.herword.com/herrights/main.php?id=singles day

•  Photography by Rogelio “Allan” Mendoza Jr. Makeup styling by Ana Santos. Gowns worn by Miki, Pam, and Alex all designed by Maricar Dizon. Gown worn by Cathy designed by Lyn Dizon. Hairstyling by Edwin Cabol Jore. Fashion styling by Kathleen Conde.