sexandsensibilities.com

I conducted a brief experiment to find out. 

I tasked a small group of my friends to make their way into one of our friendly neighborhood pharmacies here in New York City, find the condom section, then spend no more than 7 seconds deciding which ones to purchase.  Their selections were not only disappointing, but they potentially put their personal safety and sexual pleasure at great risk. 

Specific results of the 7-second condom experiment 

One friend left the store with a box of flavored condoms.  He did not realize that flavored condoms are designed specifically for oral sex and are not recommended for use during vaginal sex, because the flavored lubricant may be an irritant for some women. 

The next friend proudly chose a box of condoms made by a very well-reputed condom company, but she did not realize why the words “climax control” were printed on the cover.  This particular type of condom contains a desensitizing agent, designed to slightly numb the head of the penis in order to lengthen the duration of sexual activity. 

Another friend emerged from the pharmacy with a box of lambskin condoms.  These are much more difficult to find than latex condoms, but they do exist… Little did my friend know that lambskin condoms are only effective in pregnancy prevention, but are not to be used to prevent sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV. 

And yet another friend produced a box of condoms that was, quite simply, expired.  He had just failed to take the time to check the expiration date printed on the side of the package.  Just as grocery stores may forget to take every single carton of expired milk off the refrigerator shelves, a pharmacist might miss a box of recently expired condoms.  Make it your job to know the quality of what you are buying. 

All of these mistakes could have been avoided by doing one very simple thing: taking the time to read the condom package.  I understand that shopping for condoms can be difficult and we might want to rush through it for many reasons, but it really does pay to muster up some courage and take your time.  

To help you find the perfect condoms quickly and easily, I have created a simple checklist for the SASsy woman and her partner to make condom shopping easier and more efficient.  Just follow these guidelines and you’ll be in and out of there in no time, with the appropriate prophylactic for you! 

The SASsy Woman’s Guide to Buying Condoms 

? Are the condoms expired?  Be sure to check the expiration date printed on the condom’s package.  If the expiration date has passed, then do not buy it! 

? Has the condom package has been opened or damaged?  1) Check the package for holes or tears, 2) make sure it is still sealed shut and 3) shake the box so that you know there are definitely condoms inside.  People may have difficulty buying condoms, but they seem to find stealing them quite easy. 

? What is the condom made of?  The most common types of condoms are made of latex, but in many countries condoms can also be made from synthetic materials (including polyurethane, nitrile and polyisoprene).  Latex and synthetic condoms, when used correctly, help to prevent both unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV.  

Condoms made from animal products, such as lambskin, are only to be used to prevent unintended pregnancy – they will not help to prevent sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV.  If you would like to try a naturalskin condom, you should: 

1) be in a monogamous, heterosexual relationship?
2) have the same definition of “monogamy” as your partner, and?
3) be tested and knowledgeable about your STI status 

If you can, I definitely recommend using latex condoms – they are widely available and come in a variety of sizes, shapes, colors, textures, flavors and even with enhanced lubricants.  If you are latex-sensitive but still need to guard against sexually transmitted infections, condoms made of synthetic materials are your best option. 

? What size condoms are you looking for?  Condoms are available in a snugger, slimmer fit, a standard size or a larger, roomier fit.   Start with a standard size condom, then experiment if necessary – it is best to find the condom that most comfortably fits your (or your partner’s) body shape for maximum pleasure, and to ensure that it does not slip off or become damaged during use.
 

Now that you have the basics covered, it is time to ask yourself:  What else do you want from your condom, besides protection? 

? Are you looking for texture?  Condoms with ribs, dots or other pleasurable meshes are available with textures along the outside (for the receptive partner), the inside(for the penetrative partner) or on both the inside and outside of the condom. 

? Are you looking for a different shape?  Almost any condom that flares or gives extra space around the head of the penis can enhance sensation for both partners.  Anatomically shaped condoms are also available if you prefer a smooth, seamless fit.    

? Are you looking for condoms with a special lubricant?  Many latex condoms are also available with an enhanced lubricant.  Some contain the soothing additive aloe vera; others contain a climax control agent, designed to lengthen the duration of sexual activity.  Many people enjoy condoms with a stimulating additive, such as those that produce a warm sensation or condoms that produce a cool, tingling effect.
  

A quick re-cap of what to avoid:
? Flavored condoms for vaginal sex, for reasons stated above
? Nonoxynol-9 (also known as spermicide or N-9), because it has proven to be an irritant for both men & women
? Novelty condoms, which do not protect against unintended pregnancy or STIs
 

And a final word of advice:  Never let anyone make you feel badly about buying condoms, because you are only doing what is best for you and your partner!  Always remember that. 

I hope that you will find this guide helpful   Happy shopping… 

I love your emails!  Write to me with your questions and comments: SaferSexy [at] gmail.com
Check in on my blog:  http://CircaJoyLynn.wordpress.com
Follow me on Twitter:  http://twitter.com/CircaJoyLynn 

• Read more about world-SASs Filipina Joy Lynn  

        

Hello, Sex and Sensibilities readers   

It was my pleasure to meet SAS founder and editorial director Ana Santos while in Bali, Indonesia this past summer at the 9th International Congress on AIDS in Asia and the Pacific; she recently invited me to be a guest blogger on this site, and I could not have been more excited to contribute to the sexual health and sensibilities of Filipinas worldwide.

I emailed Ana with a few ideas about blog posts for the month of March, and she encouraged me to focus my first post on the benefits of condoms and their help in reducing HIV transmission in Asian communities.  Given the current controversy with Philippine Department of Health Secretary Cabral, I thought this to be a particularly relevant subject. 

In a recent email, Ana wrote from the Philippines:

It was on the news yesterday that the HIV numbers for Jan 2010 are in and they are again the highest recorded number in a month — overthrowing Dec 09 the previously proclaimed highest number. It just means that the numbers are on a consistent rise and we may no longer be classified as a low-incidence country soon. =(

A simple Google search of the phrase “Condoms in the Philippines”  yielded the following results:

“The Great Hypocrisy About Sex and Condoms in the Philippines…”
“Philippines sits on HIV time bomb”
“Philippines: Anti-Condom Policies Could Spark AIDS Explosion”

So if 1) HIV transmission in the Philippines is on an unprecedented rise, and 2) latex and synthetic condoms are highly effective in preventing HIV transmission during sexual activity… then why is there a such a controversy over making condoms free and available to the Filipino population, especially on a romantic holiday such as St. Valentines Day?

In my research for this first blog post I found much evidence on the positive effects of condom use in the LGBT community, among sex workers and with intravenous drug users in Asia.  While these are all wonderful findings, I was disappointed that I could not easily access more information about the benefits of condom use in other Asian populations.  My first post as a Sex and Sensibilities guest blogger is a personal attempt to make that gap of virtual information a little less wide   

Condoms are for women.  Taking a condom with you for a night out should be as normal as taking your mobile phone, your keys, your purse.  We are responsible for our own health and well-being   Gender norms and attitudes about sex, particularly in relation to roles and responsibilities, have changed significantly in the past few decades.  We are living at a time when we can enjoy a happy and healthy sex life!  Women who carry condoms are not loose – we’re just smart.  Like men, we cannot predict the future, but we should try our best to be prepared for it.

Condoms are for Catholics.  An enormous part of being a good Catholic is caring for and respecting those around you.  By using condoms, you are demonstrating the deep care you have for both yourself and your partner.  You are showing that you respect the right to live a healthy and happy life; the right to family planning and to have children only when you are ready; the right to choose how, when and with whom to engage in sexual activity; the right to decide what is best for you.

St. Valentine is the Catholic Patron Saint of Love, Young People and Happy Marriages.  In 496 AD Pope Gelasius marked February 14th as a celebration in honor of his martyrdom.  In 2006, National Condom Week was celebrated for the first time from February 14th to February 21st in California, a state that is populated by nearly 480,000 Filipinos.  As I was raised a Catholic and taught to pray to the Saints for strength and hope, I’d like to believe that St. Valentine helped to conspire in this happy, week-long observance   Click here to download Sex in the HIV/AIDS Era: A Guide for Catholics and to read about why Good Catholics Use Condoms.

Condoms are for everyone.  We should all learn about condoms, their health benefits as a medical device and even their added benefits beyond prevention.  If you are sexually active, then you should know that condoms are highly effective in preventing both unintended pregnancy as well as sexually transmitted infections, including HIV.  If you are not sexually active, you should still know this life-saving information so that you can pass it along to the people in your life who are sexually active.  You don’t need to know how to drive a car to understand the benefits of wearing a seat belt, right?

Sex is a choice.  You can choose to not have sex, and the people that truly care about you should respect your decision; but if you are going to choose to be sexually active, then you need to know the options you have to protect yourself and your partner.
 

I love your emails!  Write to me with your questions and comments: SaferSexy [at] gmail.com
Check in on my blog:  http://CircaJoyLynn.wordpress.com
Follow me on Twitter:  http://twitter.com/CircaJoyLynn

• Read more about world – SASs Joy Lynn.